The nurse who came to get me and wheel me into the operating
room was very friendly and warm. It’s amazing how her tone of voice reassured
me. It didn’t help though that the
operating room was freezing. They had me
wiggle over onto the operating table which was so cold on my bare back that I
felt like I was lying on the counter in a Marble Slab Creamery Ice cream
Shop. I started shivering uncontrollably
and my teeth were chattering. Jittery as
a bodily state, and not simply just a state of mind. But the nice nurse showed up with heated
sheets to help with that, and I lay there waiting as people assembled.
I had a chance then to
look around the operating room. A young
friend who has had brain surgery suggested that once I get to the operating
room I should only look at my feet, because it is all too scary to look at the surgical instruments. But I am very nearsighted, and they had taken
my glasses, so I couldn’t see any detail, so I wasn’t scared to look around. What I was struck with was how many screens
there were. They were big and they were
everywhere, facing in every direction. I knew the surgeon would have a screen
because it was laparoscopic surgery, but it appeared everyone would be seeing
inside me in a very macroscopic way.
I was very relieved to recognize the familiar face of my
surgeon as he came into the room, which was pretty filled with people milling
about. He came right over to me first
thing and squeezed my arm in greeting and he announced to the group of people
that was assembling for this operation that I was doing this surgery not
because I had to but because I wanted to. That I was doing this to help people I didn’t
even know and that he thought it was a great decision. He leaned in and he told me that they were going to take
very good care of me, and that everything was going to be fine.